Transitions: Highs and Lows, Together
09.12.23 | 29205
For Reflection:
Who in your life handles transitions well? How might you emulate them?
Who in your life struggles with transition? What can you learn from them?
Who have you grown out of relationships with as a result of external life transitions? When these relationships have changed, how did you feel?
Do you think it is normal to grow out of relationships as a result of external change?
In the last few weeks, I’ve been thinking about the people who hold us during times of transition. Sometimes, we are going through transition with other people - others who are experiencing the same thing. Right now, Dominic and I are in this boat - we are both experiencing the move from Minnesota to South Carolina, even if we’re responding in slightly different ways. But other times, we are more alone in our transitions. We are without others to relate with, and our relationships may change as we navigate our new circumstances. As I go through my own transition, it feels important to consider who in our lives can provide camaraderie in these times. Who can relate, and who can support us?
Highs and Lows, Together
One of my dear friends moved away from Minnesota in the same week I did. She got on a plane (ok, actually like three planes) and went home - back to a place she hasn’t lived full-time for nearly a decade. And like my own home in Iowa, while the place itself is familiar, it has also changed. The people she holds close continue to grow. There is a need to “get to know” this new version of home.
While our situations are not the same, this friend is the closest person I have, other than Dominic, who is going through a similar experience to me. In these new realities, we both are seeking an open mind to get to know our new (and changed) homes. We are both taking one day at a time, getting to know our homes despite any pre-conceived ideas we might have. But there is also a need to protect ourselves - to move with some hesitancy. Because it feels, at times, like the world is moving much too quickly to keep up, and those around us do not always understand us. In the moments of change, there is a necessary want to protect our hearts.
Some days, it feels like we’re just trying to make it through. We have moments of nostalgia and sorrow. But other days are marked by true joy as we find our way through the new-ness of this time. We have experiences that make us laugh and smile and sing.
And in all of it, we have each other.
We have the opportunity to share our feelings with someone who cares, and who will listen. We hear each other in the times of difficulty, and we laugh together in the times of great joy — even if we are thousands of miles apart. Perhaps more than anything, we can encourage each other to lean into the present moment and curate new memories with the people who surround us in this time, in this place, knowing that our friendship will remain strong as we continue to pour into it.
I have been humbled by the deep, years-long friendship and the mutual understanding that have grown with this dear friend. Through openness and willingness to listen and learn together, we have found camaraderie, understanding, and love. I know I can text her when I’m having a difficult day, and that I can look to the notes we’ve shared over the years for reassurance. I believe I speak for both of us in saying we have found a joy in sharing our lives with each other. It is a joy to witness her successes and happiness, and it is a privilege to be there as a listening ear and conversation partner in times of difficulty.
More than we realize, these moments — the highs and the lows — overlap and intertwine with each other. Perhaps that is most obvious in this time of such great transition. And so, I wonder who has been with you through the big, complicated, emotion-filled transitions in your life. Who has your well-being in mind, and how have they supported you? Have they been going through similar situations, or have they been removed from the experience you’re having? How has your relationship changed during these times? How has it remained strong or even grown through moments of great change?
Until next time, friends.