Transitions: Working Out & Writing (a.k.a. the Promises We Make to Ourselves)
09.06.23 | 29205
For reflection:
Depending on the transition, much can remain constant, or much can change. How do constancy and fluidity integrate in the transition(s) you are currently experiencing?
How might you lean into external transitions to allow for internal transition as well? What changes could you choose to make in tandem with transitions that you have to make?
We are exploring transitions after a couple of months of deep rest. How does having new energy contribute to your ability to find clarity?
In August, I spent much of my time fretting – fretting over the changes happening in my life, over our need to pack, drive, unpack, furnish, and somehow within it all, rest. In the middle of learning how to do a new job, find a grocery store, and build a dresser, I also felt a deep need to relax. To go for walks and visit the beach. To enjoy dinners out (and dinners in), and to worry less. A very anxious Autumn entered the month of August, and the rest of these weeks became an exercise in reducing that anxiety and replacing it with contentment.
I’m realizing, through this transition, that there just simply are not enough hours in the week to worry so much and also feel okay. While there are tasks that are essential to our daily functioning, there are also moments in which seemingly important tasks can and must take a back seat, for our own well-being. And there are commitments we make to ourselves that actually require too much of us, in these heightened moments of transition, in which nothing feels constant or predictable.
For me, a couple of key commitments I make to myself have changed over the past month. One of those commitments simply looks a little different these days. But the other completely stopped, taking a back seat for the rest of myself to catch up.
Commitments that look different in different seasons – Movement
Before our move to South Carolina, I had a relatively consistent home workout routine. I was intentionally moving my body 4-6 times a week, focusing largely on functional and strength-based movement. Dominic and I would also go for regular, short walks around our lovely neighborhood, and I focused much of my energy on maintaining the mobility in my back, which I injured last year. Because I drove to work and had a desk job, I needed to be intentional about my movement in the other hours of my day.
In my new job, I walk to work. Parking on campus isn’t all that convenient, and we only live about a 30 minute walk from my office. In the chaos of the move, unpacking, and making space for a yoga mat to even be rolled out on a regular basis, my daily movement has looked a bit different. Between my walk to and from work, and walking around campus between meetings, I am easily exceeding 10,000 steps a day. I’ve also been active around our home, unpacking boxes, moving furniture, and organizing our belongings. All told, I’ve probably done two or three intentional workouts in the past three weeks – but that’s been okay! My daily movement has simply fit into my schedule and regular tasks in a more fluid, natural way. Do I hope to return to some regular rhythm of strength-based movement? Yes. But is this form of movement the most truly functional form of movement I could do right now? Also yes. For me, choosing not to create extra pressure to complete another “task,” and simply allowing this practice to fit into my daily routine, has been freeing in this busy time.
Commitments that need a hiatus – Writing
I had every intention of creating a routine for myself in August. I thought (naively) that once we moved into our apartment and had been there for a week or so, I’d have the mental capacity to spend time thinking and writing about the transition I was experiencing.
Oh, was I ever wrong.
I certainly thought about transition during the last few weeks, but I spent most of my energy wholly in it. I spent most of my energy doing the unpacking, moving, driving, cleaning, organizing, and exploring that would characterize the busy-ness inherent to this time. I was 110% present to the bundle of emotions and necessary tasks of that time, and I had to admit to myself, ultimately, that I wasn’t yet in a place to process that transition outwardly.
It’s only in the last week or so that I’ve begun to feel more settled. To feel more excited, rather than overwhelmed, by the remaining projects and adventures that come with being in a new home and a new city. And I’ve realized that this makes sense - when the foundational elements of your life are out of order, your deeper longings and interests cannot take precedence. (Translation: without a dresser to put my clothes in, getting ready for work each morning felt like a much greater task than it needed to).
I am finally feeling ready now – ready to write, to reflect, and to share. And I hope you will come along with me, as we explore what it means to be in transition, how we can find constancy, and how we can lean into fluidity. Until next time, friends.