Vibrancy: Friends Who Shine
04.07.24 | 29205
For Reflection:
How do the people you look up to think about vibrancy? Do they have a zest and excitement for their daily lives? How does this influence your perspective on vibrancy?
Who in your life is vibrant? Who lights up the room? Describe them. What about them affects the space when they enter it?
What is your relationship with this person like?
Who fills your cup and re-energizes you? How do they encourage you to be vibrant?
How does being around others affect your relationship with vibrancy? Do you find yourself drained or energized by being around others?
When do you come alive and feel full of energy? What are you doing? Where are you? Who are you with?
When do you feel drained of energy? What are you doing? Where are you? Who are you with?
I think we all have a friend or two who are known to light up whatever room they’re in, who radiate like sunshine and bring energy to our time together. Or maybe you are this friend, and you are a naturally extroverted person who thrives off socializing and being together with others. As someone who gains energy by being alone or in smaller groups of people, I have always looked up to these friends. I am constantly impressed by their ability to talk with anyone and everyone. And I have one friend in particular whose personality shines like nobody else I know.
Truthfully, when I first met Allison, she intimidated me. We both joined Macalester College’s Concert Choir, and in that space I admired her confidence, her extroversion, her openness and vulnerability. From afar, I aspired to channel some of her ability to talk to people openly and honestly, but also her ability to relate with others, to find areas of common ground, and to be vulnerable about her experiences and opinions.
And then, we both enrolled in “Brain, Mind, and Behavior” – our college’s introductory neuroscience class (Allison was a neuroscience major, and I was simply taking the class to fulfill a general education requirement, but nevertheless). We sat next to one another most days, and we studied together outside of class, too. And that March, we sat next to each other on the bus during our spring choir tour. For the first time, she and I talked at more length about our lives before and beyond “Brain, Mind, and Behavior.” She told me about her lovely, quirky family and introduced me to her “vegetable projects” – her thoughtful, unique, heart-warming way of documenting her life each semester. We laughed together and were silly together, and through her I became friends with other choir folks (including my now-husband, Dominic).
That choir tour, and for the weeks that followed, Allison brought bright rays of sunshine not only to my college experience, but to my whole life. Her friendship (and the friendships I developed with choir members in general – we’ll delve into that more later this month) became one of the main reasons I looked back positively on my first year of college. I felt myself growing beyond the pre-college, fiercely self-critical tendencies. I felt myself embracing the silliness and vulnerability and vibrancy that Allison modeled so well.
Seven years into this friendship, I still look up to Allison. I still attempt to bring some of her vibrancy into my daily habits and routines. Even as I am more naturally reserved, and even as I still take thoughtful time alone to process and recharge, I have also allowed myself the freedom to find joy in the everyday. I hope that I bring some of that vibrancy to my relationships with other friends and other communities – both because it is a positive way of living life for me as an individual, and also because I have experienced the impact that vibrancy brings to other people’s lives. It is like a long, uncontrollable belly laugh – contagious in all the best ways.
Who is your Allison? Who brings light to your life? How do their daily actions and attitudes make them more vibrant? Do they inspire you? What about their ways of being would you like (or not like) to adapt to your own life?
Until next time, friends.