Vibrancy: Yours, and Mine
04.27.24 | 29205
For Reflection:
Who brings vibrancy to your life? How might you emulate them?
What places in your life inspire you to bring more color and excitement? How might you lean into the feeling of these places?
What practices help you cultivate a sense of vibrancy within your daily experience? How might you reinvest in them?
Looking back at the month, in what ways do the people, places, and practices in your life relate to your relationship with vibrancy? How would you like to relate to vibrancy in the future?
This month on vibrancy has had me thinking, more than anything, about the importance of having spaces and communities in which we can be easy-going, silly, open, and honest. I know a lot of people (including myself) sometimes equate silliness and laughter with having a less “serious” outlook on life. And while I can understand this thought process, I believe this assessment to be too simplistic. Rather than view these qualities as less serious, perhaps a more accurate description is that these qualities are less rigid. They allow for more fluidity and flexibility in the midst of serious conversations and dilemmas.
I mentioned my friend Allison earlier this month, whose energy often epitomizes these qualities and who encourages others to join her in taking a less rigid approach to life. She and I recently had a conversation about femininity and the lack of feminine spaces in adult life (i.e., post-high school and college, in the workplace, etc.). As she yearned for spaces to be silly and open and honest together, and we lamented all the ways that the post-graduate world stomps out creative energy, I started to pay more attention to the messaging I received from others with power in my environment (both in the “real world” and in my social media feeds).
In paying more attention to this messaging, I noticed above all that the femininity we are sold – both through external marketing campaigns and in conversations with those with more power above us (i.e., female role models both in the workplace and in our families) – are often focused on hyper-individualistic forms of self-care. Often, those who run or have bought into our capitalist society convince us “feminine spaces” are found solely behind the closed doors of our bathrooms.
In this reality, we have lost the communal form of femininity – a form of self-care which is also communal care: the practice of paying attention to the needs of others, with the understanding they will also pay attention to yours. These bonds are built both through the most basic of moments – through singing, through cooking together, through talking and giggling into the wee hours of the morning – and through life’s biggest moments – the loss of family members, the breaking of hearts, the decision to get married or have a child. These bonds reject the individualistic organization of the society we now find ourselves in: a society built upon my success, which is inherently at odds with yours. These bonds not only accept, but also promote, the idea that my vibrancy can and should coexist with yours.
This is what The Zip Code Project is all about. From my point of view, the path toward rejecting this individualistic idea of success depends on the choice to invest in the relationships and the communities of which you are a part. It depends on being present where you are, not focusing solely on how you might get from “here” to “there.” This does not, of course, mean that we cannot have dreams or goals – but that they do not necessitate competition. In fact, working toward dreams and goals actually relies upon the building of a solid foundation – an acknowledgment that none of us can do it alone.
I am my most vibrant self when I lean into the relationships that build me up – in life’s most magical, and most mundane, moments. I am my most vibrant when I organize my life around the knowledge that time just keeps moving. That there are no deadlines, and this isn’t a race. And that perhaps “winning” simply means being present to it all. Both in the striving and in the waiting, I am choosing to be present to it all.
That’s a wrap on April. I hope you enjoy the last few days of this month – I’ll be back on Wednesday to introduce May. Until next time, friends.